


Say You Won't Let Go

by out_of_ordinary



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Language, boys being vulnerable and soft, boys comforting one another, brief mention of Justin's home life, this is incredibly soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-10-29 19:52:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10860918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/out_of_ordinary/pseuds/out_of_ordinary
Summary: “How can you live with yourself? With what you’ve done?”“You think I’m moving on? That I don’t care anymore? I do Alex. I feel it every day. I hate myself for it, but what can we do about it now?” Alex gazes back at him, and for a long minute, they hold intense eye contact.All of a sudden, it’s like all their walls have collapsed, and they can see right into each other’s souls. Justin’s not sure how it started, but next thing he knew, they were holding onto each other for dear life, tears streaming freely, dreadful sobs escaping their lips. The sat tied together in a tangle of pale limbs and damp shirts for what felt like an eternity, both too afraid to let go.~~~Alternatively, how two broken boys find solace in each other.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Could also be referred to as the story of Justin falling in love with Alex. 
> 
> This ship has me all kinds of fucked up. I believe that their relationship, if at all there, would not include a lot of lust or sex for a while because of the mental state they are both in, eventually maybe.
> 
> This is Justin's POV by the way.

This is it. All dignity and self-pride strewn haphazardly behind him, Justin thinks this is the only place he can go. He can’t will himself to care that he’s leaving his mother behind, can’t understand why she didn’t do anything, say anything. His hand comes up to his neck, gently skimming his fingers along the muscle there, where he’s sure discoloration will blossom soon enough. He can’t go back now, not again, can’t let that punk degrade him, tell him things he’s already insecure of.

Justin’s brows knit together as he steps forward, pressing the doorbell. It’s a long shot, but it won’t hurt to try.

Alex’s usual sullen expression shifts to confusion as he stares at Justin standing on his doorstep.

“Justin?” Alex’s voice is soft, his head tilting just slightly to one side. He crosses his arms tight over his chest and rubs at his biceps as a breeze rustles the leaves around them. “What are you doing here?” His eyes flicker up and down Justin’s body, fixating a little longer at the bag slung across his shoulder that sits at his hip.

“Hey Standall. Think I could crash here tonight? Zach and Jessica won’t answer my calls or texts.” He flashes a desperate smile and continues, “So uh can I,” he clears his throat nervously, “stay?” The words ‘I’ve got nowhere else to go’ are heavy on his tongue and he can’t bring himself to say it.

Alex blinks slowly, his expression softening. “Yeah. Of course. Come in, it’s cold outside.” He takes a step back inside and turns to the side to let Justin in.

Justin nods in thanks and hesitantly steps into the house. 

Alex leads them through the entranceway to the dining room, where his father and brother are sat at the table.

“Dad, this is Justin. He and I are working on a school project together. Is it alright if he stays the night so we can work on it?”

“Sure son. Don’t stay up too late.”

“Thank you for letting me stay sir.” Justin steps towards Alex’s father and extends a hand out to exchange greetings. Alex’s dad has a strong grip when he takes his hand, a friendly smile plastered on his face.

“Anytime, kid. Just holler if you need anything.”

~~~

They work on some homework for a while in Alex’s room until it gets late. 

“Um so I’ve got a blowup mattress in the closet. Will that be alright?” Alex asks as he messes with his guitar.

“If it’s too much trouble to set up, I can just take the floor.”

“Not at all dude, I’ll go get it. Seriously, it’s no problem.” Alex looks sympathetic, eyes lingering on Justin’s for a moment before he places his guitar back on the stand and quietly strides to the closet. Justin follows the movement, fiddling with his pencil.

Neither of them talk as Alex fills the air mattress and tosses a few pillows and blankets onto it.

He gestures to it with a simple movement of his arm and then flops onto his own bed.

“It’s getting kinda late. Think I’m gonna turn in soon. The bathroom’s down the hall to the left. If you need anything else don’t hesitate to ask, ok?” Alex talks to the ceiling, his arms folded behind his head.

“Thanks.”

They both prepare for bed in a comfortable silence, laying in their respective beds.

~~~

It’s maybe a few hours later as Justin lay staring at the ceiling when he hears Alex stir. He looks over and sees Alex sitting by the window, staring outside. He sits up slowly, watching as Alex’s chest rises and falls with long, even breaths. After a minute, he breaks the silence.

“Can’t sleep either?” He asks as he gets up and takes a seat on the ledge across from Alex.

Alex hardly acknowledges his presence by the window, shaking his head minutely in response, but doesn’t take his eyes off whatever he’s looking at outside.

“Because of Hannah?” At this, Alex turns to look at Justin, his previously solemn features change to slight anger, but Justin isn’t threatened.

“We don’t deserve to sleep.” Is all he says, bringing his knee up to his chest and leaning his chin on it, peering back out the window.

“Alex…” Justin doesn’t know what to say. He thinks about it all day and night, unable to get over it. He knows it’s no use feeling guilty forever, but he can’t forgive himself. Not yet.

“How can you live with yourself? With what you’ve done?” Alex sighs, his eyes drooping with tire.

“You think I’m moving on? That I don’t care anymore? I do Alex. I feel it every day. I hate myself for it, but what can we do about it now?” Alex gazes back at him, and for a long minute, they hold intense eye contact. 

All of a sudden, it’s like all their walls have collapsed, and they can see right into each other’s souls. Justin’s not sure how it started, but next thing he knew, they were holding onto each other for dear life, tears streaming freely, dreadful sobs escaping their lips. The sat tied together in a tangle of pale limbs and damp shirts for what felt like an eternity, both too afraid to let go.

When their breathing begins to return to normal, Justin loosens his grip on Alex’s shirt and rubs his back gently, running his fingers along the knobs of his spine. They slowly lean away from each other, bloodshot eyes connecting once again. Justin doesn’t know what to feel, what to think. This is the barest anyone has seen him, all his locks and wooden boards broken away. Staring into the blue of Alex’s eyes, he realizes it’s probably the same for him. 

Alex is the first to break their eye contact, glancing down to Justin’s neck. He reaches up, fingertips grazing the skin just below his ear. His brows furrow and he looks back into Justin’s eyes. Alex’s eyes plead for the truth.

“Justin.” Justin’s breath hitches at the sound of Alex’s raspy voice, raw from crying. The sympathy in Alex’s glistening eyes makes his heart clench and his willpower dissolves.

“My mom’s boyfriend.” It’s all he needs to say before Alex has got more tears slipping down his pallid cheeks. Justin never realized how much of himself Alex gives to others, never knew someone could feel so much of another’s pain.

Alex runs his fingers tenderly through Justin’s hair, gripping just barely at the nape of his neck. He leans in to Justin and leaves a long kiss on his neck, right below his jaw.

Justin’s eyelids flutter and he tilts his head ever so slightly back. “Alex…”

Alex pulls away to reconnect their eyes. “Kisses make everything better.” He whispers it in a way that makes Justin believe he’s trying so hard to convince himself it’s true. Maybe it could be their saving grace. Justin searches Alex’s face, eyes remaining fixed on the scar along the bridge of his nose, the yellowing bruise around his left eye, the red of his split lip, his lips.

Justin rests a hand on Alex’s jaw, thumb rubbing the cut on his lower lip. “Do they still hurt?” He whispers, eyes still zoned in on Alex’s mouth.

“Not a lot,” Alex’s lips brush Justin’s thumb when he speaks.

His gaze flits up to Alex’s pale eyes as he says, “Can I…?”

Alex brings a hand up to Justin’s, holding it against his face. He nods with a tiny smile.

And so, Justin leans forward into Alex’s personal space and just barely parts his lips, attaching them to Alex’s softly as his eyes slip shut. It’s just a simple press of lips, but suddenly it’s everything Justin has ever wanted. He lingers for a moment before he breaks the chaste kiss with a quiet wet noise. Justin sighs shakily, their parted lips still grazing one another’s.

Alex’s fingers find their way between Justin’s, squeezing a little. He turns his head a tiny bit, leaning into Justin’s hand. Justin can feel Alex’s lips curve into a smile against his, can’t help the smile that graces his in return.

The hand in Justin’s hair draws him in and when their mouths reconnect, stars collide and lightning strikes and fires ignite. Their mouths mold together delicately, moving slowly like they’ve got all the time in the universe. Alex kisses like snow falls on a cold winter day, gracefully and patiently. He kisses like he’s surrendering, giving all of himself to Justin and more.

Justin can’t hear anything but the pounding of his heart in his ears and the soft breaths escaping between their lips. Right now, his whole world consists of just him and Alex, and the way their mouths dance together gingerly.

Alex tastes like tears and mint toothpaste and somehow, it’s perfect. He feels like soft blankets and warm hugs, like home. 

For a minute, Justin can’t remember why they were miserable, teary-eyed teenage boys, can only revel in the way Alex’s lips feel on his. He hopes he remembers what he feels in this moment forever. Their lips caress one another, feather-light and passionate. It’s the kind of kiss that inspires trees to grow and flowers to bloom, breathing life into the world.

They don’t take it any further, no desire to rush anything. When they separate with a wet smack, Justin presses a little, final peck to Alex’s lips.

Justin settles his forehead against Alex’s, bumping their noses gently together. “You should rest. A tired body takes longer to heal.”

In response, Alex nudges Justin’s nose with his, then he pulls back and stands up. Justin follows suit, making his way back to the air mattress when Alex catches his wrist.

“Stay with me.” Justin turns to Alex, sees his eyes scream ‘I don’t want to be alone,’ so he climbs in behind Alex. He finds Alex’s hand, resting his on top. It’s a small gesture, but he can tell the contact means the world.

They lay like that for a while, both on their backs, respecting personal space but maintaining a connection. When Justin hears Alex’s breathing soften and steady, he carefully rolls onto his side to watch the sleeping boy.

He feels something strange in his chest, a little in awe as his eyes roam Alex’s face. The gold of Alex’s septum ring glows similarly to the halo of white hair atop his head in the moonlight. Justin thinks he’s never seen anyone truly this beautiful. His heart is constricting in ways he’s never felt before and ordinarily it would scare him to feel this way but things are different now. Tonight, he and Alex made a bond unlike any other he’s ever had, and to think they were mere acquaintances only hours before. He hovers over him as gently as he can manage and presses his lips to the bruises and cuts on his face, lingering on his eyelids.

Alex shifts in his sleep, rolls onto his stomach and breathes in shakily. His forehead wrinkles with worry, something disturbing his dreaming. Justin runs his thumb along Alex’s brow, trying to relax his features. Alex exhales softly as if Justin’s touch subconsciously soothes him.

Justin lightly trails his fingertips along Alex’s back, making circles over his shoulder blades and tracing his way up and down his spine. He hopes it comforts Alex the same way it used to when his mother did it to him if he was upset or trying to sleep. 

Justin yawns, his eyelids drooping. He falls asleep quickly with his hand on the small of Alex’s back.

~~~

When Justin wakes up, he’s all tangled up in the sheets and Alex’s legs, his body mostly on top of the blonde’s, and his head resting above his heart. He briefly wonders how in the world they ended up in this position, but all thought leaves his brain as he focuses on the steady beating of Alex’s heart below his ear. It’s a comforting sound; they’re both still alive, still fighting every day.

Justin lifts his head slowly, gazing at Alex’s peaceful face. He thinks he must have been staring zoned out for a while because soon enough, Alex’s muscles tense and relax as he wakes, and he blinks slowly, glancing back at Justin.

“Hi,” Alex whispers, the faintest hint of a smile on his face.

“Morning Standall.” Justin grins.

“How did we--?”

“No idea.”

Alex hums, reaching up and petting at Justin’s hair. “You’ve got major bedhead, dude.”

“And you’ve got major morning breath, dork.” Justin sticks out his tongue at him, but regrets his teasing immediately as Alex shoves his face back with his palm until he rolls onto his back. Alex’s eyes positively sparkle as he swings a leg over Justin’s hips and braces his hands on either side of Justin’s face.

“Shut up asshole, everyone has morning breath when they wake up.” Alex sits on Justin’s stomach, making a breath of air whoosh out of him.

“Alright fair. You got me. Now could you kindly get off me? You’re squashing my intestines.” Justin pokes lightly at Alex’s sides in an effort to give him discomfort, but it appears unsuccessful as Alex doesn’t budge.

“Yeah? How’s it feel? Maybe now you’ll think twice about falling asleep on top of me.”

“Hey, I didn’t make the conscious decision to do that, I just woke up like that.”

“Excuses.” Alex tsks and rolls his eyes. “Anyway,” he sits up on his knees to relieve Justin and climbs off the bed, “what do you want for breakfast?”

“What?” Justin says obtusely as he gets up and rubs at his eyes. It’s a Tuesday morning, they’re both already two hours late for school, and here Alex is offering food instead of rushing out the door to catch third period. “Shouldn’t we be getting to school?”

“Well for the first time in forever, I’ve managed to sleep in thanks to you. I don’t plan on going to school if you don’t.”

“It’s not my fault you didn’t have any alarms set or anything!” Justin scoffs at the accusation.

Alex walks back to the bed where Justin is sitting with his legs hanging off the side. “I didn’t mean it accusingly Justin. You helped me actually sleep for the first time in weeks.” He crouches down to be at Justin’s eye level and smiles kindly. “Thank you. For staying with me.”

“Thanks for letting me.” 

“So, are pancakes too complicated for two teenage boys or do you think we could figure it out?”

“Let’s do it.”

~~~


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not entirely sure what this is haha I just sat down and inspiration hit. I wasn't planning on making a second part but I'm a tad obsessed with them so lol here it is. I apologize for the mild language, but that's what teenage boys do right?

It becomes their thing; kissing. It’s their comfort, feels like coming home.

When it gets dark out and the depression hits harder and the need for a place to stay becomes apparent, Justin finds himself climbing up the tree outside Alex’s window, where Alex never fails to be staring out into the night. He’s always allowed in, and then they’ll kiss or lay in bed together, be there for each other in ways no one else has until it gets late and then they’ll fall asleep piled together.

They don’t talk about it, never let this part of themselves see the other side of Alex’s bedroom door. Once they step outside, they put their brave faces on and they kick and fight to stay above water, but as soon as the night comes and they find each other, they don’t feel like they're drowning anymore.

It's a little more complicated when it’s raining.

Justin stares forlornly up at the tree next to Alex’s window, then glances back down at his sopping wet clothes. There’s no way it’s safe to climb a tree in the rain, and the last thing he needs is a hospital bill he can’t afford. The cold rain chills him right to the core and has drenched every article of clothing he’s wearing down to his socks.

Justin pulls out his phone and texts Alex a simple ‘its raining:(‘.

He can see Alex approach his window, a smile on his face as he replies with, ‘your point?’

Justin shoots his best glare at Alex, hopes he can see it in the stormy night. ‘you want me to climb a tree in the rain? kinda dangerous dont u think?’

‘sucks to be you then i guess,’ Alex’s smile is evil, that dry bastard has some nerve.

Justin just flips him off and sends, ‘fuck you alex.’

‘okay okay hold on.’ He watches as Alex laughs and Justin swears he can hear the melodic sound from outside. It takes his mind back to the other night, to the previous time he heard the lovely noise.

~~~

_Alex is laying between Justin’s legs on his front, arms wound loosely around Justin’s torso with his head resting on his stomach. Justin runs his fingers through Alex’s bleached hair, rubbing gently at his scalp. They had a long day at school._

_It’s been a handful of weeks since Justin first stayed the night with Alex, and the deep connection they share has grown like weeds. Justin never thought he’d get so close to someone so fast, never thought he’d trust another as much as he does with Alex in so little time._

_Justin thinks Alex is on the verge of sleep when he suddenly speaks up. “My thoughts are anchors,” he whispers it into the dimly lit room._

_“Do you wanna talk about what’s on your mind?” Justin questions._

_Alex shakes his head no, rubbing his face in Justin’s shirt._

_“Okay, then come here.” Justin places a hand on Alex’s jaw, gently guides him up until Alex is on his hands and knees over him, their faces only a couple inches apart. Justin hates when the boy is hurting, feels a sympathetic pain in his chest just at the thought of Alex being depressed. He runs his nose softly up along Alex’s, then sits up a little higher, meeting Alex’s lips in a kiss._

_Alex still kisses like a dream, like fluffy clouds on a sunny day. He still kisses Justin like it’s his last time, drawing it out and making it feel like forever. He still has that overwhelming sadness in his eyes, but Justin’s got it too, he’s sure._

_“Don’t think about it, try to just think about me.” And it sounds a little selfish when he breathes the words between their lips, but he knows that it’s a two-way street; Alex is Justin’s safety and Justin is Alex’s._

_When Justin thinks about Alex, he gets a tingly feeling of elation in his stomach. He thinks about his sarcastic sense of humor, his breathy laugh, the way his eyes sparkle when he’s talking about something he’s passionate about. He thinks about how kind and genuine Alex is, how mature he is for a high school student. What he tries not to think about is why Alex had to grow up so fast, why he feels the baggage of what seems like the whole world on his shoulders._

_He breaks out of his thoughts as Alex sits on his lap, separating their lips briefly as he whispers, “What are you thinking about?”_

_“You.” Justin sighs quietly, his hands falling to Alex’s thighs, gripping gently. Everything about Alex is soft: his voice, his pale skin, the look in his eyes when he’s staring at Justin. Sometimes, Justin can’t get enough of the blond._

_“To try to forget about stuff?” Alex is playing with the hair at the back of his neck in the most amazing way._

_“No, I’m always thinkin’ about you. I can’t help it. Somethin’ about you,” He grins when he sees Alex try to hide a smile, but his dimples give him away. “When I’m with you, I can’t think straight. You make everything else in the world just go away.” 'And I hope I do the same for you', he thinks._

_Justin takes one of Alex’s wrists and rubs his thumb along the palm of his hand. He concentrates really hard on trying to maintain eye contact when he blurts, “I think I love you.”_

_Alex’s jaw falls in clear shock. Justin can hear his sharp inhale, watches as Alex’s gaze flickers between Justin’s eyes. Justin can’t look away, can’t breathe, can’t make his brain multitask and tell his lungs to_ do your job, what the hell, _can only stare at Alex waiting for some kind of response._

_“Oh god please say something,” Justin puts Alex’s hand over his jackrabbiting heart, swallowing the nervous lump in his throat. This is the most open he’s been with anyone and it’s terrifying. He looks deep into Alex’s eyes when he repeats, “I love you, Alex.” His eyes are watering, scared of how true the words are._

_Alex’s fingers curl into a fist, clutching the fabric of Justin’s shirt. His cheeks are pink and his eyes are wet with unshed tears. For a second, Justin thinks it may have been the wrong time to say it, but then Alex tugs him into a kiss, and everything is okay again._

_This kiss is different than all the others they’ve shared. It’s hard and intense, almost bruising, and it makes Justin feel so_ alive _. Alex is relentless and Justin can’t breathe, but if it meant being kissed like this, he never wanted oxygen again._

_Justin’s heart is pounding like a hammer to metal in his ears, his lungs crying out for air and his hands caressing any part of Alex they find. They haven’t been this handsy with each other before, and the newness of it all has Justin soaring with curiosity._

_Alex pulls away, keeping Justin from following with the hand on his chest. He smiles, bright teeth and all with just the tiniest tilt of his head to one side. It makes Justin’s heart melt into a red gooey puddle and he thinks, ‘Yea, I’m so in love with him.’_

_“I love you too, Justin.” Alex exhales deeply. “Wow, that felt so,” he pauses for a second, “exhilarating.” His hands are gently stroking Justin’s cheeks, and his facial expression can only be described as fond._

_Justin beams at the confession and surges forward to kiss Alex quickly. He playfully pushes Alex’s shoulders back until he lays flat on his back. The way Alex’s legs fall open without any hesitation makes Justin’s heart constrict. He’s amazed that Alex trusts him so much. Justin leans over Alex, his hands cupping the underside of Alex’s knees, tugging him closer. He licks a stripe up Alex’s cheek, and Alex is quick to wipe the wetness off._

_“You’re gross.” He smiles prettily, and Justin can tell he’s not serious._

_“Maybe, but you love me.”_

_“Yea, I suppose I do.” Alex laughs, a gorgeous sound. Justin doesn’t know how long it’s been since he’s heard it last. At least not genuine, unguarded. Justin isn’t quite sure how to feel about him being the reason behind hearing the wonderful laughter again. The noise echoes in his ears, and he wants to hear it all the time for the rest of his life._

~~~

Alex’s figure disappears from the window, and a minute later, he is coming out the back door of his house and walking towards Justin. Justin steps in the direction of him, but Alex holds a hand up and says, “stay there.”

“How is you being out here with me going to help?”

“Shh, I wanna try something.” Before Justin can question it, Alex is pulling Justin in for a kiss and just like that, any annoyance Justin felt for the blond is washed away in the rain. Justin couldn’t resist Alex even if he wanted to, and he doesn’t, not if it results in kisses.

Their lips slide together easily, tongues slipping past each other to explore. Justin’s hands find themselves on Alex’s hips, his fingers digging in. He steps closer, pressing their fronts together as they kiss in the rain.

“Aren’t you worried your parents will see us?” They hadn’t ever approached Alex’s parents about how Justin sneaks in every night and about their more-than-friends relationship. They’re not necessarily avoiding it, they’re just taking their time, figuring things out as they go since this is a new experience for the both of them. Alex has mentioned in the past his hesitance on telling his father anything about their relationship for fear of being ‘an even bigger disappointment.’ Justin spent the rest of that night trying to convince Alex otherwise. Justin worries his comforting skills were lacking that time.

“Don’t care,” Alex replies simply and tugs Justin back in. Alex’s fingers are warm despite the cool air and wetness on Justin’s cheeks where he pulls him close.

Justin entertains it for a little longer, then pulls away again and puts his fingers on Alex’s lips to stop him. “As much as I enjoy making out with you, I’m soaked and it’s only a matter of minutes before the hypothermia gets to me.” He rubs his fingertips along Alex’s lips as he talks, his eyes directed to their pink plushness. He’s got a habit of staring vacantly at Alex’s lips, can’t help the way he’s drawn to him, wanting to kiss him nonstop until the end of time.

“You’re such a drama queen. How about I draw you a bath?” Alex brushes Justin’s wet hair away from his face with one hand, the other sliding between his varsity jacket and t-shirt, coming to rest on the small of his back. Warmth radiates there pleasantly, drawing Justin’s attention away from the cold.

“Mm, okay.” Justin runs his hand down Alex’s arm, taking his hand and twisting their fingers together. He walks backwards towards the house, guiding Alex with him.

When they reach the patio, Alex hesitates at the door. “We’re gonna get water everywhere. My mom’s gonna kill me,” he sighs.

Justin gives him a devious smile and tugs off his jacket. He strips off his shirt and keeps eye contact while he unbuckles his belt.

Alex appears a little flustered under the dull patio light. He swallows noticeably then speaks, “Justin, what are you doing?” Justin is pleased when Alex’s eyes roam.

“Less clothes, less water tracked into the house,” he says as he steps out of his shoes and shimmies out of his jeans.

Alex runs his hands over his head, spiking up his hair. He exhales loudly as he pulls his sweater off, his undershirt following shortly after. He looks less than thrilled as he stares at Justin while he undoes his belt.

They leave their clothes in a heap by the back door and slip inside, closing the sliding door as slowly as they can. The floorboards creak beneath them as they tiptoe up the stairs, and the boys wince with every noise.

Just as they pass a room with its door cracked open, someone speaks. “Alex?” Alex’s father’s voice echoes down the hallway. Justin freezes, and Alex back him against the wall, a hand covering his mouth. His eyes are saucers as they look into Justin’s. They must be an interesting sight, standing pressed against a wall, hardly clothed and dripping wet. Justin silently hopes Alex’s father doesn’t come out to see him or ask Alex to go into the room.

“Yea, dad?” Alex’s voice wavers a little.

“Finish your homework?” Justin watches a single droplet of water cascade down the bridge of Alex’s nose and fall to the carpeted floor below.

“Yes, sir. Just finished.”

“Good job kid. Just wanted to check. Got to keep those grades in check.”

The tension in Justin’s shoulders rolls away as Alex proceeds down the hall to his room, pulling Justin with him. Once they make it to the safety of Alex’s room with the door closed behind them, they turn to face each other and smile.

“Holy shit, that was terrifying,” Alex says. He puts his hands over his eyes and laughs. “Oh my god, I can’t believe I just had a conversation with my dad while practically naked.” He tosses a dry pair of boxers to Justin.

“It was awesome. Color me impressed.” They change into clean underwear and turn back to each other.

“My heart is beating so fast. I’ve never felt so alive.” There’s a beat of silence between them for a minute, then Alex strides back over to Justin, pushing him against the wall and kissing him hard. Their bodies are pressed completely together, and it reminds Justin of how very naked they still are. He’s torn between wanting to run his hands all over Alex’s body and wanting Alex’s approval before he guns it.

Of all the days they’ve spent laying in Alex’s bed making out, they’d never really tested any boundaries. Their being together wasn’t rushed or desperate, they knew they had all the time in the world to discover each other. This is the first time Justin is experiencing Alex shirtless for something other than gym class, and it sends electric shocks of thrill through his veins. He tentatively places a hand on Alex’s ribcage, his fingers splaying out over the barely visible bones.

He breaks away just long enough to breathe, “this okay?” between their lips.

Alex puts his hand over Justin’s and guides it down. He stops just before the curve of his ass. “You don’t have to be afraid to put your hands on me. You’ve already got the green light.” As if to emphasize the point that they’re comfortable enough with each other for this, Alex tucks the tips of his fingers below the waistband of Justin’s borrowed boxers briefly, then gives Justin’s ass a playful squeeze.

Justin grins and shoves Alex gently back until his legs hit the edge of his bed. Just as Alex lays back on the bed, Justin climbs over him and kisses his neck. He nudges Alex’s head back to get more room, then sucks a bruise into the soft skin right above his collarbone. Justin mouths at Alex’s Adam’s apple, tempted to leave a mark, but knows it would be hard to cover up, so instead, he continues to bite at his collarbone. A soft gasp escapes Alex’s lips, and he arches up closer to Justin’s body, his hands tight on Justin’s hips. The passion between them is electrifying, you could almost see the sparks where they touch.

Alex rolls them over and licks into Justin’s mouth with no restraint. His power and control stuns Justin, so he pushes Alex back with a hand on his chest. “Shit, Alex.” He tries to catch the breath that Alex stole from him. Alex sits back on his heels with a satisfied smile.

“What, having a hard time keeping up, Foley?”

“Just never seen you on an adrenaline rush before. Wipe that smirk off your face you jerk.” If anything, his grin gets wider.

“Make me.”

Justin smiles and shakes his head in disbelief. He tugs Alex down again by the back of his neck, gripping his hair and meeting him halfway for another kiss.

Alex moves to Justin’s jaw and neck, placing long, wet kisses along his way. He kisses down to the tattoo scrawled across Justin’s chest, then stops for a second. He pulls away just a little, runs his finger along the cursive words, then leans back in and bites at the skin gently.

Justin feels drunk on love; he’s addicted and he couldn’t possibly give it up for anything. Between Alex’s mouth and the way his hands touch him, Justin feels utterly loved. Alex is ethereal, must have been an angel sent to earth to look after him, and Justin is so grateful to be here with him in this moment, loving him so dearly.

Alex stops when he comes across the scar stretched across Justin’s side, over a few of his ribs. He runs his finger across it as he asks, “What’s this from?”

“My mom has had a handful of bad boyfriends. I provoked one when he was drunk, he had a knife, and well, you can fill in the blanks.” Alex doesn’t say anything, just leans down and presses a feather-light kiss on the raised skin. “It’s okay, really. Mostly just grazed me, only a couple stitches.”

“You shouldn’t have had to go through that. I thought I had it bad with my mom constantly worrying over me.” Alex takes Justin’s hand and kisses his knuckles. Justin doesn’t respond. He doesn’t like Alex taking pity, but honestly, how are you supposed to feel when someone says they’ve been abused?

“Stay with me.” Alex whispers, a solemn expression plastered on his face.

“I wasn’t going anywhere.”

“No, I mean, don’t leave. I care about you.”

“I’m not really thinkin’ about the future, I’m only concerned with the right now. And right now, I’m with you. I don’t think there’s anything in this world that could make me leave you.” Justin rubs his thumb over Alex’s hand still entwined with his. “Hey, let’s forget all this sad shit. How about you help me pick out a tattoo to cover it up?”

Though Justin couldn’t see the future ahead for himself, he knew that whatever that future was, Alex Standall would be right there next to him.

~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I read this over like a billion times but I'm sure there are some mistakes somewhere. Let me know what you think!! xxx

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading if you made it this far! Comments and Kudos are always appreciated! Please tell me if there is anything offensive or triggering about my work, as it is not intended.


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